"Living the Questions" with Rilke

In the epistolary "Letters to a Young Poet", German poet, Rainer Maria Rilke urges a young poet to live the questions in his life in the following passage: "You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves (wow, hard to do!) as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."...

A similar message to that of Vanier's of "waiting in hope".

Waiting, wading through, and truly living the questions with joyful hope is not easy! And yet, there are many situations where I have looked back on a past struggle and realized how, without that challenging time of uncertainty, I would not have grown in very important ways. God's providential plan continues to prove to be much better and seamless than the one I devise in my own mind. If I had my way, I probably would have starred as the fourth daughter on Full House (only counting the Olsens as 1) or 9th orphan on Rags to Riches at age 9. I'd have been married off by the age of 12 to Grant Foster, and would now be raising my 18 adopted children from all over the world (at least beating Angelina and Brad to it). But,  I am here in Chicago, and discovering God's plan for my life, which thankfully is a little different that what I desperately thought I wanted at times. Susan Messing, a phenomenal Improviser and teacher simply and poignantly says that it's helpful to sometimes put blinders on and say: "My path is my path."

Though we have many strong feelings for different people, causes, and places, God truly knows our gifts and weaknesses, and what we can really handle each step of the way. However, it seems wise to listen to those desires that keep popping up in our heart and soul, and be aware of people, and activities that God continues leading us to become connected with.

It's so neat when God reveals a plan throughout our lives with people perhaps we would have never imagined we belong with. People that help us grow into the person that we have the potential of becoming. Since we are human, we are not perfect; full of beauty yes, but also some wounding and thus selfishness. I think in relationships, through the struggles, and through encouragement, we can grow, and live in the questions, to hopefully, one day, "live our way into the answers."

Rilke discusses the importance of solitude and listening to our own soul along this life journey of discovery. How to find a balance between solitude and walking together?

In studying Improv here in Chicago, I continue to discover the importance of valuing others' as well as my own strengths and ideas. As I come face to face with my own fear of trusting in myself, and in others, to trust in me. Trust. It allows the walls of fear to fall down, allowing a charitable focus on dignity and brilliance, as we all realize that we have unique value and are interconnected as one. So hopefully love and support, not fear, are the driving forces fueling our relationships and work together.

I hope to continue to find this balance of trusting, moment to moment, and truly live. Giving and savoring all the richness that all relationships can provide, in the here and now, and somehow, someday waltz my way into the answers.