Lately, dear friends have shared with me lots of wisdom that's carried me through a period of struggle. One such thought has been that the feeling of rejection and loneliness is actually a 'Proclamation of Grace'! Reflecting on Jesus' death, we are aware that even He, in His last moments of earthly life, felt alone, and rejected by his friends- even questioned God's plan. Yet this beautiful act of obedience, selflessness and Love, was a catalyst for God's Grace to be proclaimed for the World.
Another friend, reminded me that death in fact, leads to life. If we really believe in the Resurrection, then only death can lead to such amazing life. When we feel like a part of us dies, be it a relationship, or suffering in some way, it's surely difficult to see the light of the Resurrection shining as a beacon of hope.
Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet, says: "Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad...If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little beyond the outworks or our presentiment, perhaps we would bear our sadness with greater trust than we have in our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown; our feelings grow mute in shy embarrassment, everything in us withdraws, a silence arises, and the new experience, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it all and says nothing....Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us, everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us..."
St. Therese of the Little Flower describes her feelings of sadness and loneliness in her autobiography, "Story of a Soul" in the following passages: "I look upon myself as a weak little bird, with only a light down as covering. I am not an eagle, but I have only an eagle's Eyes and Heart. In spite of my extreme littleness I still dare to gaze upon the Divine Sun, the Sun of Love, and my heart feels within it all the aspirations of an Eagle...At times the little bird's heart is assailed by the storm, and it seems it should believe in the existence of no other thing except the clouds surrounding it; this is the moment of perfect joy for the poor little weak creature...And yet after all these misdeeds (of being swept away by life's distractions), instead of going and hiding away in a corner, to weep over its misery and to die of sorrow, the little bird turns toward its beloved Sun, presenting its wet wings to Its beneficent rays."
In this little time of feeling rejected and sad, I have re-learned a lesson I have known but often am not forced to cling to, except in times of loneliness...That though God's Love can be manifest beautifully through human beings, one to another...God's Love exceeds our imperfect human love for one another. We can see and feel God in eachother in love, but there is a space and place where God's Love goes above and beyond what we are capable of giving one another. And therefore, this space, this solitary space that each person feels, this Long Loneliness as Dorothy Day called it, is crucial for our growth in Love.
Rilke actually encourages us in the journey of solitude into our own souls. I believe our place of need within is given to each person to be able to have the Space for God, to be able to listen and welcome something bigger, which often only comes in times of our deep poverty when we cry out for help. St. Therese says the poorer we are, the more Jesus (God) can love us.
So, in this time when I feel alone and like I can't fly, I will give praise for great friends. I will pray and try, as incredibly difficult and crippling the pain can be at moments, to have hope in the uncertainty, to welcome this Space of yearning in my soul, and wait in Hope for the light of the Beneficent Rays!
Another friend, reminded me that death in fact, leads to life. If we really believe in the Resurrection, then only death can lead to such amazing life. When we feel like a part of us dies, be it a relationship, or suffering in some way, it's surely difficult to see the light of the Resurrection shining as a beacon of hope.
Rilke, in Letters to a Young Poet, says: "Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad...If only it were possible for us to see farther than our knowledge reaches, and even a little beyond the outworks or our presentiment, perhaps we would bear our sadness with greater trust than we have in our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered us, something unknown; our feelings grow mute in shy embarrassment, everything in us withdraws, a silence arises, and the new experience, which no one knows, stands in the midst of it all and says nothing....Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us, everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us..."
St. Therese of the Little Flower describes her feelings of sadness and loneliness in her autobiography, "Story of a Soul" in the following passages: "I look upon myself as a weak little bird, with only a light down as covering. I am not an eagle, but I have only an eagle's Eyes and Heart. In spite of my extreme littleness I still dare to gaze upon the Divine Sun, the Sun of Love, and my heart feels within it all the aspirations of an Eagle...At times the little bird's heart is assailed by the storm, and it seems it should believe in the existence of no other thing except the clouds surrounding it; this is the moment of perfect joy for the poor little weak creature...And yet after all these misdeeds (of being swept away by life's distractions), instead of going and hiding away in a corner, to weep over its misery and to die of sorrow, the little bird turns toward its beloved Sun, presenting its wet wings to Its beneficent rays."
In this little time of feeling rejected and sad, I have re-learned a lesson I have known but often am not forced to cling to, except in times of loneliness...That though God's Love can be manifest beautifully through human beings, one to another...God's Love exceeds our imperfect human love for one another. We can see and feel God in eachother in love, but there is a space and place where God's Love goes above and beyond what we are capable of giving one another. And therefore, this space, this solitary space that each person feels, this Long Loneliness as Dorothy Day called it, is crucial for our growth in Love.
Rilke actually encourages us in the journey of solitude into our own souls. I believe our place of need within is given to each person to be able to have the Space for God, to be able to listen and welcome something bigger, which often only comes in times of our deep poverty when we cry out for help. St. Therese says the poorer we are, the more Jesus (God) can love us.
So, in this time when I feel alone and like I can't fly, I will give praise for great friends. I will pray and try, as incredibly difficult and crippling the pain can be at moments, to have hope in the uncertainty, to welcome this Space of yearning in my soul, and wait in Hope for the light of the Beneficent Rays!
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